Privately Punctuated Equilibrium

Punctuated equilibrium states that evolution proceeds in relative stability for long periods of time interspersed with much shorter periods during which many species become extinct and new species emerge

My brief and fragile peace is randomly shattered by an empty confusion filled with a brittle noise

The entropy of 1000 ads unwinds the cocoon I have spun to try to take on another form from within

Unbidden, implanted thoughts quickly separate me from meditative contemplation

Staccato power tools and snorting bulldozers thoroughly dissolve my peaceful illusion

This sense of inner calm morphs instantaneously into a raging and blind emotion – Over a parking spot

My clear sphere of equilibrium is punctuated by such random and very sharp sharp exclamation points

Jarred abruptly into pointless marketeers’ daydreams from eternal contemplation

Strong gusts of chaos churn my laminar Wa into choppy waves of turbulent tension

Unbidden facts thrust themselves upon me, piercing my most comforting curtain of self-delusion

Hoarse laughter, bright lights and loud engines trample me awake from peaceful dreams

Slick, dead-end merchandising schemes wrestle away my precious attention

Meaningless corporatized sports events quickly destroy my fragile focus

Bright colors and hypnotizing music morph me once again into a consumerist droid

Politicians smilingly coat my little wisdom with clouds of warm, quickly-evaporating pixie dust

A blind, teat-seeking greed is said to guide our progress, much to my confounded consternation

My inner peace evaporates from the light, heat and noise of our wondrous endeavors

This passive resistance of mine is as some hapless plant is to our progress-bearing earthmovers

Senseless morning cacophony twists a search for meaning into a suicidal longing for the void

In the furor of the sound and light my thoughts are changed as quickly as a chameleon’s colors

I fear the holy cause of our inalienable progress leads us all into this chaotic regression

So the next loud man on the airwaves all too easily punctures the shallowness of my self-deception

Tiny But Unlikely Rightwing Flip-Flops

Why, we’ve even talked of downsizing on out of our beloved giant McMansion

Working on a plan to reduce my negative savings rate sometime...over the long run

Don’t necessarily need corpro-restaurant food every third meal or so

May have to cut back on sucking up on lamely-scripted corporate happy visions

Might not even strongly support every single goddamn defense spending bill

Perhaps we might need to start thinking about possibly looking into that global warming

Taking up meditation 3 times a week as soon as the next class starts

Gonna get the kids organic white bread and low-salt, trans-fat-free chips

Turning the heat all the way on down to around 70, like next winter

Probably going to hold off on buying that other OHV for a while

Seeing my newest nine passenger vehicle in a slightly different light

Not nearly so sure about where our elected leaders are actually steering us

Thinking that maybe these multiple meds aren’t really supposed to make me better

After this next trip, we may not go out to Vegas again for a while

Might not take such an interest in the lives of them Hollywood couples anymore

At this time I’m also reviewing my oversize emotional investment in professional sports

It’s even possible I could revisit some of the minor decisions made with my personal savior

Pretty much ready to recycle as soon as the Left makes it worth my while

Cutting back a bit on the fertilizers, pesticides and water I endlessly apply to my beloved lawn

Gonna choke down some more of that leafy green rabbit food every once in a while, too

Got a for real fitness program in mind when I finally free up some time

Our stockholders may have expressed some interest beyond our results for the next quarter

Maybe I’ll ask the next candidates if they could write some of their own speeches

Seriously, this really will be the last time we vacation on borrowed equity from our home

I’m not putting another plastic yellow ribbon decal on my beautiful new pickup truck

Pretty close to cutting back to only 3 lattes per week

Got to thinkin’ maybe them Frenchies ain’t really so mixed up after all

I noticed we never watch hardly any of them 300 deluxe package channels

Probably not going to drive the ATV off of the established trails so much anymore

Maybe them polar bears going extinct will mean somethin to me, in the end

Possibly their petro-dollar pie chart does have a fat slice labeled Terrorist Subsidies

Next time I might just try to understand the list of 45 ingredients and calories on the label

I’m signing up on my 401K or whatever as soon as my credit cards are ever paid off

Everywhere we went on our last vacation I noticed the same identical shit built

Thinking about selling the Harley but it’s sat for so damn long it won’t start

Driving an obese pickup 70 miles a day to my stupid job is making less sense over time

I’m trying to do the math of being broke and laid off for good at 55 but living until 80

Finally noticed my kids might not quite be reaching up to their Exceptionist potentials

It seems a little hotter every year and the birds and plants are acting real funny

Maybe cleaning up the lake does make more sense than just putting up signs about the toxins

Perhaps tax and spend is more conservative than borrow and send overseas

Is killing evergreens and charging off artificial marketers guilt really a christian holiday?

Dang, them little hybrids are easier to load groceries into than this giant pickup

I begin to wonder where these leftover batteries, paints and pesticides all wind up

What if raising pigs and cows like they weren’t actually even alive really ain’t Jesus’ way?

Does it makes sense to spend all my money on incurable ailments just to die within a year?

If it’s all in god’s hands and by his will, why then, is greed so goddamn all-important?

You know, I got to thinking, with the AC on, idling in my SUV, it gets zero MPG but lots of CO₂

How is it that illegal workers go to jail but their bosses get to keep the higher profits?

Just where is the money behind this vast global warming hoax, anyway?

Now, where do the jobs and tourists go once the big trees are all cut and shipped overseas

The wife is going to cut back on her nails, hair and tanning stuff real soon

Are their multi-generational neglected children worse sins than the sex we denied them condoms for?

I might even stop driving 80-85 every time I think I can get away with it

Had a drive-by epiphany near the projects on the freeway, going to work, I think

Gonna go green or whatever, now that it’s a toney, temporary, liberal fashion trend

We booked our spiritual quest thru holy India tour on a safe Internet site

Making up for my life of mindless hyper-consumption with these funny light bulbs

Maybe we should have impeached him, just to show the rest of the world we still have some sense

With my windpower check-off, we are in the vanguard of CO2 reduction

Bet I will get my weight, sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure down again, someday

Cutting back on that trendy new seafood that’s replacing the last one they over-fished into oblivion

I’ll be leasing a 300hp, 0-60 in 5 seconds hybrid to reduce my eco-footprint going forward

Waiting for that new career they promised to create by outsourcing my job to foreign slaves

So is it that since God is love, we the faithful are driven to keep on so lovingly killing in His name?

Wow, maybe it should be land, labor, capital and sustainable entrepreneurship

Perhaps free markets doom elephants and tuna by paying ever more for those fewer that remain

Saw the corporate ads on ethanol and now I am climbing onboard with that, as well

Even if global warming is a hoax, I’m tired of my 8 ton SUV, anyway

I’ll be waiting in the drive-thru line in my electric car for no-fat, organic fries

I’m for logging jobs here at home but we demand that Brazil save their rain forest

What if most of our problems really did have something to do with our overpopulation?

Pulling back from this wildly pitching blur real soon now to begin contemplating the eternal void

Carefree Times On The Road To Our Extinction

We increased our numbers far beyond the carrying capacity of our native planet

We fouled the water and poisoned the air that, after all, only sustained our very lives

Our once rich soil has been blown away or contaminated due to our inept corporate farming methods

We poached the charismatic mega-fauna to extinction even as we destroyed their habitat

We have gouged the earth to burn the coal that sullies the lovely atmosphere…and our kid’s brains

We swarm upon each other in endless fool wars with our dear mother earth as but collateral damage

We cut the shading trees for firewood or for quick profits building things not meant to last

We dump our toxic wastes into the rivers that we have channelized and dammed. Yet still drink from

Our great cities appear as nasty pockmarks from the tiny vantage points we built out in space

We decimated the great whales and spiked the seals milk with exotic chemicals

Our miracle plastic litter drifts throughout the vast ocean basins and no one is responsible

We’ll melt the polar icecaps and turn the mountain glaciers into dry and naked rock

We have carelessly torched our vast reserves of petroleum and natural gas and released their CO₂

Most of us live in ignorance and poverty in spite of our noble free economies

The poorest among us bring forth the greatest number of new offspring into our overpopulated world

We perpetually delude ourselves with petty gods, sex, work, drugs, kids, food and patriotism

The once-beneficent rain is now filled with poisonous acid thanks to our virtuous industrial efforts

Deserts encroach more each year given our ravenous goats, constant firewood need & CO₂ emissions

We look forward to our lord’s infinite paradise after lives spent blindly pursuing individual happiness

The unsustainability of our societies shall not be altered should it perturbs our daily lives...at all

We make loud noise in everything we do, never even aware of how very still we really should remain

We slaughter each other over petty disagreements between our stale yet vapid religious fantasies

Our emissions silently destroy that portion of the atmosphere protecting us from deadly cosmic rays

We haphazardly introduce exotic species that wreak havoc upon finely-balanced native ecosystems

In our prideful ignorance our fictional god anoints only us, of all species, with a so-called eternal soul

We prefer catchphrases and demagogues to personal responsibility and inherited wisdom

We waste trillions on a military whose sole purpose is to kill people and destroy infrastructure

Our road to extinction is built upon ignorance, greed, hubris, intolerance and shortsightedness

We breed our meat animals to be weak and stupid and we exterminate all their wild predators

We unwittingly select for the strongest microbes with our anti-bacterial cleansers

We find fake news sound bites more effective vote-getters than reason and understanding

We fill endless toxically-leaching dumps with tons and tons of re-usable and like-new castoffs

Our batteries, paints and lawn sprays wind up right back in our own drinking water

We scatter lead and mercury which dulls the potentials of our own precious children

Our economic system is purposely blind to the fact that it totally depends on the global ecosystem

Though we tramp blindly down the road to extinction, we thank god above it’s not the road to hell

Building a better tomorrow via our ordained pursuit of individual happiness

Fighting environmental legislation that may restrict freedom and could drive up costs

Building flimsy firetrap strip malls along every new stretch of overpriced highway

Investing in security to the tune of ½ a trillion dollars per year with built-in increases

Draining unproductive wetlands and not missing the clean water, birds and fish a bit

Fighting for your right to a 5 ton behemoth to drive 50 miles every day to your shit job

Cutting costs to consumers by shifting expensive development, production and pollution overseas

Collecting rich memories staring waxy-eyed at your home entertainment center from the couch

Sharing quality family meal time with artificial fast food or at some corporate franchise restaurant

Going it alone, thinking we’re in the lead, while everyone else actually heads the other way

Allowing all forms of excessive noise as if it were some kind of a god-given constitutional right

Letting teenaged children of unwed grandmothers have even more kids be born on welfare

Encouraging all forms of vapid credit consumption all for the sake of our blessed GDP

Eliminating guilt through absolute trust in decisions made all alone with our personal savior

Vilifying the opposition and reducing all issues to incontrovertible black and white soundbites

Building a better tomorrow planning ahead nearly one whole business quarter at a time

Meeting shareholder stock price responsibilities via layoffs, benefit cuts, mergers and outsourcing

Advancing global society via our negative saving rate lifestyles and their 14 hour work days

Rolling out a glossy advertising campaign instead of developing new and better products

Subsidizing corporate agriculture while forcing bogus free trade deals upon smaller economies

Finishing off the remaining old growth which eliminates both logging and tourist jobs - at once

Creating artificial confusion over climate change in a shared corporate-governmental strategy

Raising prices on disappearing fish to encourage supply so that every last one will be caught

Tainting food with un-inspected foreign ingredients and then proudly selling it as Packaged in USA

Simply ignoring the steady decay of our roads, bridges, water systems, electrical grid and internet

Outlaying far more for prison warehousing than fostering childhood development

Spending social security as collected instead of investing it for later recipients

Researching erectile dysfunction and botox instead of superbugs, malaria and pandemic flu

Bravely rebuilding in the middle of flood zones in gross denial of costs and common sense

Erecting a giant fence by Mexico while Europe adopts a single currency and border

Increasing our foreign technological dependence just as our domestic ignorance proudly swells

Touting a free market based health care system that both overprices and under-serves

Institutionalizing a two-party system grown shamefully paralyzed by divisive partisanship

Fostering a devotion to corporate sport devoid of anything but a greed-filled profit motive

Passing 10000 page omnibus spending bills where everyone gets a piece of pork

Dumbing down their tests, inflating their grades and calling them tomorrow’s world leaders

Excusing vast social and environmental destruction by cynically mouthing ‘You cant stop progress’

Why Do You Even Raise These Absurd Snowflake Issues?

Your questions may raise concern regarding your sanity and/or loyalty

Why do you ask if our land can really support this increasing flood of immigrants

What do you mean those politicians all sound alike as they read their sponsor’s words that our How How can you view our divinely ordained progress as a tragic charade which cannot be maintained

Why do you see your neighbors as tragicomic fossils riding out upon their dinosaurs

Now why in the world would you even question the identical nature of your good breakfast eggs

Why do you find it necessary to ask about all those young men being educated in prison

Just where did you hear about questioning our further increases in defense spending

How is it your concern that cloned franchise outlets of all types appear everywhere

Would you expand on your issues regarding a certain surveillance program we do not acknowledge

Exactly what is your concern regarding our nation’s petroleum industry-developed energy policy

Why do you ask about the sugary caffeine all our young children continuously guzzle

Why are you second-guessing the board’s latest new strategic vision going forward

Is there any legitimate reason you need information beyond that in our official press releases

Why would you say there is no taste to these bright red tomatoes that now ship so well

Why do you ask about development plans for some grandparent’s property sold due to higher taxes

How did you become so concerned that your commuting costs are funding terrorists

Why would you even ask how global economies of scale are actually vital to your own well being

How can you question the value of greed and selfishness in the pursuit of individual happiness

Who commands you to continue harassing us over classified issues concerning our national security

Why would you associate the smell of a feed lot with mass scale human suffering and death

Just where is this so-called right to privacy granted among our hallowed freedoms

Why do you ask us to measure the rate of return on our fabulous executive’s salaries and bonuses

Where is your issue with our cutting funding required to enforce those laws contrary to our beliefs

What is the source of your out-of-touch concern that every slice of white bread is the same

Why can’t you stop questioning our need for your uninformed but quiet patience

From what fake news outlet did you obtain this skepticism regarding the competence of your leaders

Why do you think a time will come when alternative energy will occupy us as much as the Middle East

Who told you that the noise of our industrious society is not good for your health

Why will you not participate in a dialog where we frame the debate as well as the outcome

Tell us why you find it necessary to continue to clamor for their official resignations

How dare you question the proven truth of continual compounded economic growth

Why would you even wonder if corporate-sponsored politicians serve your best interests

Why do you ask that they follow any other beacon than their own studious and selfish greed

When did you first start to believe that our policy of exceptionism is a fantasy-based fairytale

How is it you cannot see the greater return from another new strip mall over a quiet meadow

Why would you even question the use of all this private data we must gather

Is there something else you would like to discuss after this last unnecessary outburst

Why do you even ask if abortion, flag burning and gay marriage are really important

Where did you first hear that everyone lives in a financial house of credit cards

How can you say we need to stop this fictional climate change to slow a purported mass extinction

Why do you think that loud pickups and Harleys violate your so-called, tofu-based ‘Wa’

Is it just you or does it seem really hot around here, all the time

Why would you dare even ask about revisiting decisions made in talks with my savior

Can you please describe for us the feelings that always put you into such a hurry

How can you scoff at their good efforts to green their hollow McMansions

Who convinced you our Traditional Family Values are newly-created and not made to last

Why do you claim that we daily de-construct our grandchildren’s futures

What causes you to think our waste disposal poses a threat to a healthy lifestyle

Why do you find it harmful and hypocritical to tax tobacco, liquor and gambling

Where did you get that quaint but false notion that healthcare does not belong in the free market

Why do you question our fire sale as we exit the business of species preservation

Why do you ask if our pursuit of happiness really has not even subjective benefits

Why do you claim that our plant and animal husbandry is no different than factory production

How can you imagine questioning that which we summarily reject with our dismissive smirks

How dare you say all our actions are merest posturing in front of the political pollsters

Who told you that human populations are unnaturally high and bound to crash

What does sustainability bring to the pursuit of our own enlightened self-interest

Why do you foolishly ask if ethanol and coal are viable as clean energy alternatives

How can you deny the one true god who has so obviously blessed all of us so far

Why do you want us all to cram into unsafe featureless shoeboxes to drive to work

Where did you get the notion that we should clean up our own back yards first

Who is spreading the idea that we are paralyzed in a polarized political stalemate

Why do you ask that we scrutinize military spending as closely as we do social programs

How can you conclude that things really are not getting better all the time

What leads you to believe we are responsible for this purported mass extinction

Who told you we unfairly gerrymandered voting districts to ensure our perpetual re-election

How did you conclude that free enterprise has strip-mined the ocean of all its life

Why do you question our myriad blessings when so many suffer in abject poverty

Long-Term Free Market Environmental Solutions

Old growth forests wont be such a divisive issue after they’re all cut down and milled
Species preservation will be a lot cheaper once all those many useless ones finally go extinct

Numbnut loud pickups and noisy Harleys will go silent when there’s no more gas to waste

Government meddling is being eliminated thanks to Washington’s political paralysis

They’ll stop this poisonous salmon farming as soon as there’s no little fish left to feed them

The American prairie will come back when it becomes too hot and too dry for our crops

Clean energy wont be an issue once it’s either burn coal again or simply freeze to death

Email spam will disappear when the bastards cant afford to run their servers

We will reduce our population to sustainable levels via global wars and epidemics

Everybody can live a developed country lifestyle when only a billion or so of us remain

We’ll curb transportation greenhouse emissions completely by wasting all of our cheap oil

Our fanatical Islamist enemies will be weakened after they finish their internecine jihads

Once we’ve stripmined the seas, there’s no worry that the fish are too full of mercury to eat

Global income disparity will disappear when everybody makes 20 cents an hour

It’ll all be organic when petroleum-based pesticides and fertilizers are unavailable

Sound bites will be simpler to create once the vast majority of adults are illiterate

OHVs and snowmobiles won’t be issues if they cost too much to pull around for wreckreation

There’ll be no housing shortage when they turn foreclosed McMansions into refugee housing

Agribusiness won’t be able to waste fossil water when there’s no power for their pumps

Lean and healthy grass-fed beef will be the norm because people will again eat all the grain

Won’t have to regulate mileage or emissions when gas always costs at least $5 a gallon

Forget greedy developers when the forests are torched and the snow doesn’t fall

Once we’ve sucked the Middle East sands dry we can just ignore them once again

Our collapsing house of credit cards will halt the Chinese environmental disaster

The Russians, or probably Asian occupiers, will prosper when Siberia thaws out for development

Fertile virgin farmlands will open up in Canada once this warming really kicks in

Australia is set to prosper from unlimited solar potential as it dries out and heats up even more

The disruption of the monsoon will relieve the filthy overcrowding of Indian cities

As South Africa becomes a desert, its problem with malaria will be greatly reduced

Millions of fire-blackened acres will curb recreational pressure on our wildlands

The collapse of commercial fish stocks may allow the battered bycatch to recover

Government bankruptcy and a lack of military fuel will curb the world’s only superpower

Alienation and anomie will evaporate in the vastly simplified struggle for everyday survival

Multinational corporate collapse will put their faceless leaders where commoners can reach them

Obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure will disappear right along with cheap factory food

Blunt reality may finally force us to once again reinvent our tired and failed religions

If You Haven’t, You Can’t Know

If you have not awakened to the sound of a creek burbling beside you

Where do you get the gall to vote against cleaning up our lakes and rivers

If you haven’t squeezed the throttle and heard the hoarse bellow and felt its raw power

You’ll never understand why OHVs are just the most fucking fun

If you never saw the earliest morning sun kiss a wild mountain basin

You can’t ever get a clue as to why wilderness might just be important

If you haven’t had one of your platoon buddies get his legs blown off right there beside you

You’ll not understand the great camaraderie even in a pointless and immoral modern war

If you never robbed a frightened white man at gunpoint when in need of a fix

You don’t understand what shaking with drug-enhanced psycho excitement is all about

If don’t know the rapture with which our savior fills our hearts

Your eyes are simply closed and your soul is truly dark and empty

If you have never gotten all shook up over the smell of meth abrewin’

You cant criticize the beutifool buzz that rots our teeth and makes our hair fall out

If you haven’t ever lost more than you could afford but just kept on playing anyways

You will never know how good it feels to win back even just a little bit

If you never stated proudly you were eager for the chance to clear your name

You cannot know why you then claim to have no comment regarding the allegations

If you never became quite still and simply regarded all of your wandering thoughts

You can derisively dismiss that phony bullshit about the sound of one hand clapping

If you haven’t nearly died and then realized you are looking at a peaceful sunset

It’s hard to know just how miraculous each and every second of our lives really is

If you should ever notice yourself dwelling on some phony sport or another

The door to your cure has begun to swing open in front of you at last

If you haven’t quite grasped the lure that drives men to unmuffle their vehicles

You really need to get right up here behind the wheel in this big bad baby

If you haven’t ever sweat too much and breathed too hard

You will not truly appreciate the gentle sun of a desert Winter

If you only ever eat vegetables, fruit and all that other so-called organic shit

You cannot understand the addictive joy of salt, sugar and hydrogenated oils

If you just read the bible and watch what’s new on TV

You’ll miss the wisdom of Mohammed and his buddy Isaac Newton

If you never spent too many lonely nights in the dark, all alone

You cannot fully appreciate the peace of slumbering together

If you’re always in an angry hurry because it’s still late once again

It really won’t be too easy to just sit there and listen to those stupid birds

If you’ve only weighed their arguments and critiqued other’s decisions

It’ll be hard for you to understand undertaking any real action of your own

If you never questioned the endless mowing, watering, fertilizing & pesticiding of your lawn

You probably never walked barefoot in some quiet forest meadow

If you really have thought through what you are saying right now

You won’t need to be told to just shut the fuck up, once again

If you haven’t hiked hard up to an alpine ridge on a clear september morning

You don’t deserve the gas it takes to drive your SUV over the pass, ever again

If you haven’t even saved a penny and lived large off of your maxed-out credit cards

Don’t bother to complain to me about those evil those Tax and Spenders

If you can’t even do the four operations of basic arithmetic in your head

Don’t you dare and try to question a scientist’s so-called fuzzy math

If you haven’t ever swam in a warm ocean during a real rain

You likely worry way too much about getting a little wet

If you can’t conceive of any society not based upon simple greedy profit motives

Sustainability surely sounds like another cockamemie liberal fairytale to you

If you never were in awe of the interwoven cycles of the web of this earth

You’ll find it easier to believe that we alone are possessed of a soul

If you still believe a god who awaits you created all of this and left behind his word

You need never even look into the void yet for even the briefest single moment

If you hadn’t seen those kids grow up and loved them so much through thick and thin

You cannot understand their exceptional nature or the uniqueness of their gifts

If you felt you always needed to stop in order to smell the roses

You were lucky, because you never noticed you really were not going anywhere...at all

Clues That We May Have Displeased Him

Teachers burnt out by armed fatherless gangsters and cursing infant whores

Laid off engineers numbly transitioning out the door with a few shabby boxes of books

Working class fathers brewing Meth and waiting for their promised good new jobs of tomorrow

The terminally ill finding religious solace in the fantasies of their pain meds

Mothers placing folded flags on clean beds of the sons who are never coming home

Malnourished babies sucking emptily at their refugee mother’s emaciated breasts

Salesmen with many tired-out stories whose services are no longer required…anywhere

Convicts who return with a certain sense of relief to their secure families behind bars

Self-medicating counselors helping substance abusers find decent ways to cope

Once-proud farmers forced to work for miserable hourly wages on corporate pig farms

Frightened young peasants toiling 14 hours every day for $3 and sleeping 20 to a room

Aging middle managers pitifully eager to please even after their recent downsizing

CEOs excited to clear their names of baseless charges yet, speaking only through their lawyers

Exemplary black men with extreme rates of hypertension and prostate cancer

Politicians standing firm on unilateral decisions privately made consulting with personal saviors

Rabbis, coaches and fathers swarming about in teen internet chat rooms

Devoted doctors performing hurried cosmetic surgery on old women in order to make golf tee times

Our children running amok on caffeine and sugar, but…they’re just expressing themselves

Loan swindlers pleading for federal bailouts to profitably refinance the already defrauded

New nurses changing jobs for raises but never quite learning proper medical care

Lonely and trusting retirees cruelly duped by those of their own offspring’s generation

The forgotten working poor agonizing in the night over whether to pay rent or buy food

Volunteers spending their own time and money only to be sneered at as foolish suckers

Rappers and reverends pimping their narrow fantasies like they were running sick old whores

Frogs gamely in a last stand on the crisscrossed ATV tiretracks of doomed wetlands

Hungover so-called craftsmen erecting one more overpriced modular dream suburb

Another clueless Texan idling a pickup for personal comfort, way out there in Calorada

Our boys on their fool’s errand amidst a civil war in a country we destroyed

Graduates who can’t read or write any language and don’t really know what they ‘r sain’

Gushing acceptance of every increase to already-insane levels of dEfense spending

Despoiling the land to rapidly guzzle any last oil reserves...without creating any alternatives

Believing that noisy, expensive, gasoline toys results in some kind of recreational renewal

Growing up without healthcare, exercise or education but…getting lots of fatty foods & sugary drinks

Letting the slickest, greediest and most self-centered continue to set our course

Mouthing the ironclad platitude that this blight they greedily label progress cannot be stopped

Falsely pitting people and jobs against the environment that supports them both

Balancing taxes on vices to maximize revenues while still retaining the hopelessly addicted

      Coupling pious patriotism with divine right in a loudly ignorant, exceptionist duet

Not being able to stand an office job yet eviscerating the beloved outdoors in your work

Tossing half a billion plastic bags per year in a mocking tribute to our own lifestyle

Using false interpretations of musty fictional scripture to foment hatred and conflict

Writing off any candidate who cannot compete in raising funds for empty media sound bites

Fretting over foreign pollution after outsourcing ours to dirtier offshore production standards

Watching as plans and animals pitifully struggle northward as the heat just keeps on increasing

Can’t Stop Our Ordained, Greed-based Progress

Keep on moving alongside of it, or get the hell out of our One True Way

These new asshole to elbow suburbs are merely blessed parts of God’s rich plan

Quit your misguided whining and chronic, spoiled, mealy-mouthed complaining

Outside developers quite naturally buy low, build cheap, sell out and move on

What could we really do differently anyway? Hey, these good people need those jobs!

Tinderbox strip malls are the climax stage in an ordained, faith-based ecological succession

How else are we going to provide for our ever-expanding human population?

The ready answer is really just about this simple – Ever bigger portions of more of the same

Just follow the money and you’ll find whose pocket putting people first always lands in

We’ve already defined the false choices so you cannot ever reframe the phony debate

You can’t stop the ordained progress upon which our vapid and consumptive lifestyle feeds

So either drive that excavator or get pushed off to the side with all the dead trees

We can’t control the future but we sure can can sniff out a quick profit in the here and now

Under Manifest Destiny we are honor bound to voraciously extract & consume, from coast to coast

Look at the good jobs we provide to the community - for up to several summers

Being constantly driven by insatiable greed merely expresses our consecrated pursuit of happiness

Listen, you can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs, right?

So, really, you can ignore shattering the ecosystem that sustains you - To make a quick buck

Simple-minded hyper-consumption is the genius that guides the blind hand of the free market

Planning and conservation is the province of that old, tired and failed socialist agenda

With money, law and tradition behind us, we bulldoze away any and all feeble arguments

We polish our moneymaking skills by doing just what we know best, over and over and over again

There’s no stopping progress, just ask those smog-purple mountains above the once-fertile plains

Just take some more of these pills and you’ll enjoy the bounty of our febrile exploitation

We’ve got laws and precedents going back to our revered colonist forefathers

They stopped slavery but we still do what we want to the land, once we get a loan

We must tame and control, kill or be killed, slash, burn and flatten to survive

It’s man against nature in a war of attrition and our cash flow shows us winning big

We’re building on a sacred heritage of free enterprise and entrepreneurial energy

We’re deconstructing our children’s future one shoddy eco-shattering development at a time

After all, since you can’t stop progress, what is it that you are really think you can do?

Look, this farmland could return more next year as identical housing units for harried commuters

Our progress is inevitable and a foregone conclusion, just like our uncontrolled population growth

So, even though our lakes and rivers are just filthy sewage drains, there are still clean ones up north

No human force can stop a progress that has monetary gain as its ultimate and only goal

God made it so and only spoiled, out-of-touch liberals raise some witless, namby-pamby concerns

We are tightly wrapped in patriotism, God, free enterprise and Traditional Family Values©

Faith in free markets guarantees that everyone’s selfish actions will blindly yield a better future

Look, you can’t stop progress, this is all part of His wondrous design for us, his Exceptionist tribe

We’ve framed the debate and marginalized you while hyping lies to the good people, our people

Our way forward is bold and unambiguous but you would paralyze us with all your baseless fears

Our greedy individual clutching moves us all inexorably forward towards the Happily-Ever-After

You can’t stop progress unless it will make us more money more quickly, and then that’s progress

It’s like asking us to recycle for free just because it makes you feel better

We don’t condone all of these environmental impact studies and over-regulation

We measure our progress in amounts of CO₂ emitted, wetlands drained and acres deforested

The history we never learned most certainly shows that ours is the only one true way

Let there be Chinese ‘God Bless America’ flag decals on the backs of all our bulldozers

Look, your burdensome over-regulation can only cost good people, our supporters, jobs and money

This government meddling is very much akin to the failed social programs of the past

We can’t predict the outcome of our actions so we say just roll the dice and we’ll see...

We’ll solve any real problems after forcing scientists to prove they really exist...in a political debate

After all, what studies show that so-called intact ecosystems really benefit any society?...

None, but...It is true that lust for gain has clearly driven the flowering of our blessed demockracy

Have A Problem? Just Start A Market To Fix It!

We can trade carbon emissions like fresh produce at some quaint village market

the good power plant owners and auto producers will display their earthy wares

they can barter with jolly fund managers for promises to plant new trees somewhere

Let’s credit default swap undernourished children baking in desert refugee camps

we’ll speculate on them like pork belly futures on the mercantile exchange

god bless them and all but, at times, we’ll have to hedge our investment and sell them short

We need to start charging for the priceless air that we breathe each and every minute

but it should cost a little less if it’s not quite as pure and clean as we really need

we’re not talking intrusive taxes here, for this is your free enterprise system at work

Ignorance is another so-called free good that we all take for granted

to remain willfully or otherwise uneducated should cost you some money

but countries could exchange this item for bulk quantities of pure blind faith

Let’s start a market to reduce our usage of self-centered greed

third world residents could improve their lot with a bit of this magical elixir

we just need a mechanism to allow them to trade us a bit of the patience of poverty

We’ve mortgaged all our futures now, so let’s trade them on the open market

they already buy and sell the loans we take out on our overpriced homes and cars

even an indentured future would be attractive to those overseas who have none at all

How about a place to pick up Traditional Family Values© in convenient takeout form

busy moms and commuting dads could grab some to share with the kids at home

the unemployed and the elderly could provide a seemingly endless and pure supply

We ought to be able to get top dollar for things like mercy and understanding

maybe we could trade acts of peace and love for weapons-making rights,

force those who profit on mass killing to deal with those dreamy-eyed, squishy tree-huggers

We need a better mechanism to invest all that time we save each and every day

it seems to leak from our lives like water off a roof way before we can ever use it

maybe we could find a way to earn interest on all those savings that we never touch

If drinking was limited to a fixed amount per member of the adult population

the virtuous poor could trade their rights to the hard-charging, heavy-drinking rich

and the homeless alcoholics would have to sober up every year by early March

Creating a pool of licenses which granted the rights to a child would enable trade

the infertile but doting rich could spoil and fatten more of their own venal offspring

government could then provide more opportunity to the smaller number of poor children

It’s time-consuming to go and vote and then there’s the flawed counting process

let’s let the market decide thru campaign contributions and give the results to charity

since in almost every single election the winner is the one who collects the most, anyhow

We should sell rights to smoking, overeating and lack of exercise

as these are the things we need to avoid to maintain our valuable good health

then just those with money could get diabetes, heart disease and strokes

Let’s allow the marketplace to decide which of our national forests will survive

if they cannot pay their way with tourists, hunters, offroaders, coal, timber or gas

we’ll sell them off to the highest bidding developer and cut out any further losses

We should turn this business of species preservation over to private enterprise

let non-profits compete with donations against corporate capital on habitat conservation

who could argue over winners and losers in the blindly just world of the free market?

It’s time we subsidize the oil companies in a competition to manage our water supplies

this inefficient and overly-expensive government control must go

for with impending shortages, corporations will best make optimized allocations for us all

Let’s put a value on our son’s lives by letting families sponsor surrogate soldiers

we’ll graduate the payment scale based on family income

the rich can pay to substitute 3 or 4 poor foreign boys to fight in place of their precious sons

Let’s seed a franchise market to take over our failed educational system

for our graduating children are no longer able to assume personal responsibility

so let’s let the blind hand of god’s Darwinian marketplace reveal the fittest curriculum

Let’s speculate in major religions based on the number of souls on their books

we can gauge their performance on outlets opened and percent capacity filled

that way, the popes and imams could raise venture capital instead of so vilely fleecing the poor...

Butt Out With Your Intrusive, Socialist Nannying

Look, we paid for this aluminum, glass and plastic so, Yes, we can just casually toss it away

And landfills overflowing with wasted reusable resources are really no concern of ours

I can pour all the fertilizer, insecticides and potable water that I want on my lawn

It doesn’t cost you a thing so get off of my grass or I’ll shoot you, then call the cops

If I idle my SUV for half an hour to keep me warm or cool, that’s my own personal decision

The CO2, wasted fuel and particulate emissions only effect your squishy feelings

Keeping ahead on the income curve via my credit cards is my own private affair

My negative savings rate does not effect your frightened and squirrelly lifestyle

my kids can lay on the couch playing video games while grazingon empty fastfood snacks

keep your concerns about global competitiveness right where they belong - to yourself

we financed this lovely parcel and our plans for development are not any of your concern

we’ll build it up, sell it off and go traveling with the cash - you can try to live next door

just hush up about these vast smelly sewage lagoons on our giga-dairy farms

our distant investors can easily ignore contaminated groundwater and drug-resistant bacteria

It is our visionary corporate strategy to move engineering and production overseas

Who are you to question our actions within the infallible system of free enterprise

The right to modify a $60k pickup to make 120 decibels is enshrined in the constitution

Does that noise bother you, liberal weakling, well gee, that’s just too goddamn bad

We can squeeze out a few extra bushels per acre with more non-renewable inputs

Yes, the future of our fair nation’s farmland rides upon the daily fluctuations of our stock

Production will be more efficient with millions of cloned, identically-spaced trees

This is our forest land and you have no say whatsoever in its present or its future

Our lofty positions give us a unique and unimpeachable perspective on proper spending

Trust us with managing these unimaginable outlays for our sacrosanct military defense

A high-fat, super-sized, over-salted, sweetened, caffeinated diet is my own personal choice

So mind your own business and go find your own affordable medical care

Keeping our 5700 square foot trophy 2^nd home a cozy 72 in January is a private decision

We simply do not share your naïve concern over coal-fired power plant emissions

Running my noisy generator endlessly to microwave snacks and watch lame dvds is up to me

Their BS that it pollutes like 5 diesel trucks next to your tent is simply liberal propaganda

Lighting my property all night long helps protect my family, so shut the fuck up

I really don’t care if it wastes energy, lights your bedroom and blocks out the stars

Hey, go to hell, geek, where I throw my cigarette butts is none of your business

If you don’t like it, why, either just don’t look at them or go and pick em up

I drive as fast as I can get away with, and you are simply in my way

My increase in severe accident frequency and fuel usage does not effect your insurance, much

Idling in line for drive-thru fast food is my own private decision

Fuck your stupid concerns over my diet, wasted plastic, energy use and toxic emissions

Shut up about our over-running your public lands on snarling financed snowmobiles and ATVs

We pay our damn taxes and have the right of accessibility, just like all the cripples

It’s none of your business if I haven’t learned anything new for many years

Right now I’ve got a job and there’s cold beer and a big game on the big-screen at home

I’m just having a loud private conversation on the phone here, if you don’t mind

I’m neither aware nor would I care that half of our vapid discussion enrages you

It’s our policy to package cheap Chinese shit under our old flag-draped American brand name

There’s no law against it and we’re not really trying to mislead you

Hey, go to hell with your intrusive concerns over my parenting skills, loser

God says I don’t need no license to get her to drop all the damn kids we want

Conversations with my personal savior are strictly private and personal in nature

Guilt-free actions based on answers to my prayers are always in my constituents best interest

We can damn them for masturbation, abortion, homosexuality and contraception

For it is we alone who interpret God’s word, so be silent or be condemned forever, unbeliever

We can pull our kids from school to avoid the crowds on vacations we can’t afford

It’s the fault of the education system that he’s 12 but reads at a third grade level, so shut up

If they’re not paying me to recycle I’m sure not crazy enough to go and fool with it

I don’t like touching that shit, so you greenies can head to the dump and sort it out there

We develop profitable products like Viagra, liposuction and weight loss miracles

So, let us know how the market solves TB, bird flu, malaria, AIDS and MRSA

I’m not listening to your issues with my unsustainable, over-consumptive, unhealthy lifestyle

For our one true god bade us to go forth, multiply freely and take dominion over all of nature