Please Save The Rain Forest...For Us

You really must preserve the emerald forests whose rain and oxygen sustain us all

Even though, with our god’s blessing, we clearcut and settled all of our own several centuries ago

You owe it to humanity to leave this vast living system of jungle synergy intact

Though, ours is but a shattered, subdivided and dysfunctional shadow of its original self

Oh, pray, can’t you see the harm all these new roads, plantations and settlements bring

You can just ignore the mess that still expands in the aftermath of our own ordained progress

Oh! The forest tribes will lose the ancient homes where they have always lived in ecological harmony

Forget about how we butchered 30 million in a holocaust that we now celebrate as manifest destiny

Save the rain forest for generations yet unborn in the rest of the already-developed world

Ignore our swinish and brutal lifestyle but take heed of our pious pronouncements

Stop the illegal logging and slash and burn agriculture before it is too late and we must condemn you

Leave those places alone and unprofitable while we continue developing every acre of our own

Let your poor live crammed in unplanned favelas without hope but let the vast sub-continent sit idle

Then watch as we industriously bring progress to every square inch of our own sacred lands

Leave the monkeys and cats, the rivers, birds and the insects in their ancient web of life

Oh, and pay no attention to this vast wasteland from which we piously exhort you to conservation

Won’t you save the ancient rain forest for us all and for all our generations to come?

In any case, our caring firms will buy any and all precious hardwoods you might care to cut and sell

Don’t convert that miraculous living canopy into massive mono-cropped factory agriculture

But if you need help, why, our agribusiness conglomerates will be there to assist you

You must preserve this natural heritage and wellspring of diversity for our planet’s future

Do as we preach and ignore the greedy reality of the wanton destruction we wreak on our own lands

Remember that our god wills that you act as good stewards of his magnificent creations

Notwithstanding, he also bids us to take dominion over our land and rend great profit from his works

You should learn and live the mystical sustainability lessons that we never even tried to take to heart

Save the rain forest because our children like to see it in high-definition on our big screen TVs

You must act quickly because the earth’s special places simply must be preserved

We need your great forests to act as a filter for all the smog and CO₂ our sainted lifestyle creates

Save the rain forest and you can feel morally correct in helping to save all of mankind

We’ll send down some tourists, missionaries, along with corporate mining and agricultural interests

You must halt the spread of rampant development which is destroying the green canopy

Look at all the pretty exotic trees we have planted in our endless rows of suburbs

You must preserve this reservoir of medicines, foods and carbon at all costs

You need to do as we did not and act upon ideals to which we give only lip service

It is our duty as moral exceptionists to the world to lecture you on proper domestic policy

Save your precious rain forest so that we can feel better about continuing upon our merry way

Tiny But Unlikely Rightwing Flip-Flops

Why, we’ve even talked of downsizing on out of our beloved giant McMansion

Working on a plan to reduce my negative savings rate sometime...over the long run

Don’t necessarily need corpro-restaurant food every third meal or so

May have to cut back on sucking up on lamely-scripted corporate happy visions

Might not even strongly support every single goddamn defense spending bill

Perhaps we might need to start thinking about possibly looking into that global warming

Taking up meditation 3 times a week as soon as the next class starts

Gonna get the kids organic white bread and low-salt, trans-fat-free chips

Turning the heat all the way on down to around 70, like next winter

Probably going to hold off on buying that other OHV for a while

Seeing my newest nine passenger vehicle in a slightly different light

Not nearly so sure about where our elected leaders are actually steering us

Thinking that maybe these multiple meds aren’t really supposed to make me better

After this next trip, we may not go out to Vegas again for a while

Might not take such an interest in the lives of them Hollywood couples anymore

At this time I’m also reviewing my oversize emotional investment in professional sports

It’s even possible I could revisit some of the minor decisions made with my personal savior

Pretty much ready to recycle as soon as the Left makes it worth my while

Cutting back a bit on the fertilizers, pesticides and water I endlessly apply to my beloved lawn

Gonna choke down some more of that leafy green rabbit food every once in a while, too

Got a for real fitness program in mind when I finally free up some time

Our stockholders may have expressed some interest beyond our results for the next quarter

Maybe I’ll ask the next candidates if they could write some of their own speeches

Seriously, this really will be the last time we vacation on borrowed equity from our home

I’m not putting another plastic yellow ribbon decal on my beautiful new pickup truck

Pretty close to cutting back to only 3 lattes per week

Got to thinkin’ maybe them Frenchies ain’t really so mixed up after all

I noticed we never watch hardly any of them 300 deluxe package channels

Probably not going to drive the ATV off of the established trails so much anymore

Maybe them polar bears going extinct will mean somethin to me, in the end

Possibly their petro-dollar pie chart does have a fat slice labeled Terrorist Subsidies

Next time I might just try to understand the list of 45 ingredients and calories on the label

I’m signing up on my 401K or whatever as soon as my credit cards are ever paid off

Everywhere we went on our last vacation I noticed the same identical shit built

Thinking about selling the Harley but it’s sat for so damn long it won’t start

Driving an obese pickup 70 miles a day to my stupid job is making less sense over time

I’m trying to do the math of being broke and laid off for good at 55 but living until 80

Finally noticed my kids might not quite be reaching up to their Exceptionist potentials

It seems a little hotter every year and the birds and plants are acting real funny

Maybe cleaning up the lake does make more sense than just putting up signs about the toxins

Perhaps tax and spend is more conservative than borrow and send overseas

Is killing evergreens and charging off artificial marketers guilt really a christian holiday?

Dang, them little hybrids are easier to load groceries into than this giant pickup

I begin to wonder where these leftover batteries, paints and pesticides all wind up

What if raising pigs and cows like they weren’t actually even alive really ain’t Jesus’ way?

Does it makes sense to spend all my money on incurable ailments just to die within a year?

If it’s all in god’s hands and by his will, why then, is greed so goddamn all-important?

You know, I got to thinking, with the AC on, idling in my SUV, it gets zero MPG but lots of CO₂

How is it that illegal workers go to jail but their bosses get to keep the higher profits?

Just where is the money behind this vast global warming hoax, anyway?

Now, where do the jobs and tourists go once the big trees are all cut and shipped overseas

The wife is going to cut back on her nails, hair and tanning stuff real soon

Are their multi-generational neglected children worse sins than the sex we denied them condoms for?

I might even stop driving 80-85 every time I think I can get away with it

Had a drive-by epiphany near the projects on the freeway, going to work, I think

Gonna go green or whatever, now that it’s a toney, temporary, liberal fashion trend

We booked our spiritual quest thru holy India tour on a safe Internet site

Making up for my life of mindless hyper-consumption with these funny light bulbs

Maybe we should have impeached him, just to show the rest of the world we still have some sense

With my windpower check-off, we are in the vanguard of CO2 reduction

Bet I will get my weight, sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure down again, someday

Cutting back on that trendy new seafood that’s replacing the last one they over-fished into oblivion

I’ll be leasing a 300hp, 0-60 in 5 seconds hybrid to reduce my eco-footprint going forward

Waiting for that new career they promised to create by outsourcing my job to foreign slaves

So is it that since God is love, we the faithful are driven to keep on so lovingly killing in His name?

Wow, maybe it should be land, labor, capital and sustainable entrepreneurship

Perhaps free markets doom elephants and tuna by paying ever more for those fewer that remain

Saw the corporate ads on ethanol and now I am climbing onboard with that, as well

Even if global warming is a hoax, I’m tired of my 8 ton SUV, anyway

I’ll be waiting in the drive-thru line in my electric car for no-fat, organic fries

I’m for logging jobs here at home but we demand that Brazil save their rain forest

What if most of our problems really did have something to do with our overpopulation?

Pulling back from this wildly pitching blur real soon now to begin contemplating the eternal void

Taking An Ignorant Dominion Over The Earth

Quote any out-of-context scrap of your wornout religious fairytale that can grease your own agenda

Plunder this earth in the truly wacko belief it was created for your ignorant and selfish whims alone

Righteously waltz away from your messes with profit in your pocket and hand on the good book

Rest easy in the certain knowledge of your divine right to an eternal and shameless greed

Take dominion over the beasts and despoil all the places in which they might take their shelter

Hunt them down, burn them out, or even, vow to protect those few your children deem attractive

Treat plants and animals just the same: For personal & disposable use in any way you see fit

After all, they lack the everlasting souls with which your one true god has favored you, alone

Foul the air with impunity seeking extractive revenue or gas-powered wreckreation

Cut and burn the forests for corporate gain under his command to go forth and multiply

Concoct and release any manner of poisonous chemicals - if you think you can make a quick profit

Empty even the vast seas of all their life to satisfy the insatiable demands of the blessed free market

Sanctimoniously treat your brown-eyed cattle as mere non-living, statistical units of production

Modify their genetics at your whim, deny them the calming shelter of their herds,

Raise them in crowded filth, kill them without any dignity and just as cheaply as is possible

Rend and cleanly package them in bloody factories and then bulk ship them as consumer goods

Remain smug in the knowledge that you alone are cast in your one god’s image

Channel the rivers, strip their banks bare and introduce all manner of your toxic runoffs

Casually block out the divine skies with your smoke and His stars with your paranoid nightlights

Consume non-renewable resources at unsustainable rates behind casual, knowing smirks

Take accidental dominion over the atmosphere, obliviously unbalancing its exquisite constituents

Unconsciously but innocently infect and pock the earth that He bequeathed only to you

Derive moral authority from scripture and trust the outcome to the blind hand of free enterprise

Try vainly to place yourselves divinely outside of the earth’s cycles and its cosmic web of life

Put people and jobs above the natural world and its cycles without which they cannot even exist

Righteously commend the territories of the heathen enemy and his false god to ashes and to ruin

Matter-of-factly demand adequate income from any lands socialistically held in the national trust

Praise those who gash and extract for us and allow them to move on without healing the land

Swarm into any marginal habitat you stumble on and guiltlessly tip its balance towards entropy

Measure the health of your society simply by its consumer spending and unemployment rate

Always make sure to put people first in a ceaseless, artificial struggle to overcome nature

Be sure and erect sturdy fences to cut off access beyond your leveraged holdings

Blindly trust to the wisdom of billions of isolated, greedy decisions to result in a sustainable future

Blithely waste and pollute irreplaceable clean water on a daily basis without the slightest regret

Pray for relief from the drought and heat while steadfastly denying that our efforts produced them

Take it on faith that air, water and an equable climate are inexhaustible free goods, provided by god

Let the animals and the habitat which supports them and us all exist simply at your pleasure

Ignore the finite nature of all the resources squandered in raising your precious children

Permanently alter ancient rain forests with a single-minded focus on the profit for this fiscal period

Rest secure in the perfection of heaven, independent of any god-willed mess on this earth

Take dominion over the forests and plant millions of cloned trees, equally spaced and fenced-in

Artificially color the modified fish that you unsustainably farm while poisoning the ocean

Thank god for his blessings then stuff down too much and just throw away the rest

Draw freely from earth’s finite resources provided for you alone in his infinite wisdom

Trust that he will look after tomorrow thus allowing you to blindly consume and despoil today

Sleep well believing that you follow the only true and righteous path to eternal salvation

Trample the silent lilies of the field in a smoky and noisy quest for your vital wreckreational pleasure

Celebrate our fruitfulness under his edict even as we render our very nest unfit for life

Take up arms for god and lay waste to the enemy lands in His name and for His glory

Twist and eviscerate your god’s teachings such that you evade responsibility for the earth that nurtures you

Teach that preserving this lonely planet is criminally negligent in terms of family costs in jobs and money

Dwell on important moral concerns like abortion, gay marriage and flag-burning while ignoring the vast ecological holocaust of our foolish lifestyles

Mindlessly shovel resources into that blind and gaping maw of global corporatism

Trust that things will turn out all right according to His mysterious and omniscient plan

Call the heat and drought and new deserts the unfathomable will of your omnipotent god

Respond grudgingly with tiny band-aids as entire ecosystems collapse but unquestioningly increase already unconscionably huge military outlays

Try and save the species of your choice, if you will, though they have nowhere to live or anything to eat

Marvel at the wonder of His creation over the roaring of the bulldozers in the background

Displace the plant and animal communities with filthy, teeming, unplanned slums

Rip up fertile sustaining farmland for shoddy strip malls selling throwaway plastic schlock

Destroy ecosystem linchpins but still, find your solace in prayer as the mystery of His ways unfolds

Twist a fossilized religion and out-of-context economic theory into a rationalization for unencumbered, shortsighted & suicidal greed

Give thanks for all of our blessings and righteously ignore their toxic origins and externalized costs

View all of his creations through the unique lens of our own divine entitlement

Take dominion, secure in the knowledge that His will be done, in the fullness of eternity

Building a better tomorrow via our ordained pursuit of individual happiness

Fighting environmental legislation that may restrict freedom and could drive up costs

Building flimsy firetrap strip malls along every new stretch of overpriced highway

Investing in security to the tune of ½ a trillion dollars per year with built-in increases

Draining unproductive wetlands and not missing the clean water, birds and fish a bit

Fighting for your right to a 5 ton behemoth to drive 50 miles every day to your shit job

Cutting costs to consumers by shifting expensive development, production and pollution overseas

Collecting rich memories staring waxy-eyed at your home entertainment center from the couch

Sharing quality family meal time with artificial fast food or at some corporate franchise restaurant

Going it alone, thinking we’re in the lead, while everyone else actually heads the other way

Allowing all forms of excessive noise as if it were some kind of a god-given constitutional right

Letting teenaged children of unwed grandmothers have even more kids be born on welfare

Encouraging all forms of vapid credit consumption all for the sake of our blessed GDP

Eliminating guilt through absolute trust in decisions made all alone with our personal savior

Vilifying the opposition and reducing all issues to incontrovertible black and white soundbites

Building a better tomorrow planning ahead nearly one whole business quarter at a time

Meeting shareholder stock price responsibilities via layoffs, benefit cuts, mergers and outsourcing

Advancing global society via our negative saving rate lifestyles and their 14 hour work days

Rolling out a glossy advertising campaign instead of developing new and better products

Subsidizing corporate agriculture while forcing bogus free trade deals upon smaller economies

Finishing off the remaining old growth which eliminates both logging and tourist jobs - at once

Creating artificial confusion over climate change in a shared corporate-governmental strategy

Raising prices on disappearing fish to encourage supply so that every last one will be caught

Tainting food with un-inspected foreign ingredients and then proudly selling it as Packaged in USA

Simply ignoring the steady decay of our roads, bridges, water systems, electrical grid and internet

Outlaying far more for prison warehousing than fostering childhood development

Spending social security as collected instead of investing it for later recipients

Researching erectile dysfunction and botox instead of superbugs, malaria and pandemic flu

Bravely rebuilding in the middle of flood zones in gross denial of costs and common sense

Erecting a giant fence by Mexico while Europe adopts a single currency and border

Increasing our foreign technological dependence just as our domestic ignorance proudly swells

Touting a free market based health care system that both overprices and under-serves

Institutionalizing a two-party system grown shamefully paralyzed by divisive partisanship

Fostering a devotion to corporate sport devoid of anything but a greed-filled profit motive

Passing 10000 page omnibus spending bills where everyone gets a piece of pork

Dumbing down their tests, inflating their grades and calling them tomorrow’s world leaders

Excusing vast social and environmental destruction by cynically mouthing ‘You cant stop progress’

People Are The Firm's Most Treasured Assets

In their expensive ads, backed by soothing music, they speak of the great value of their people

All the time, knowing full well the way out of a stock crisis is simply to slash jobs and cut benefits

According to their slick marketing, the mystic force of humanity powers their organization...

And after 15 minutes a tired voice from Bangalore finally comes on the line

Yes, all of their wondrous technology is inspired simply by their people’s desire to further our society

Those financial services like sub-prime mortgages which have so enriched our lives

The personally-oriented mass-market eSolutions tailored to your individual needs

Still, corporate entities will accept modest profits in lieu of becoming charitable organizations

Why, those fearless leaders would likely give up private jets and 10 acre compounds for their folks

Because listen, even in their over-allocated schedules, their doors remain open to their people

They’ll take a moment and reflect you to a smiling minion who can safely blow you off

And they’ll quickly drop your face on that big pile that they will never need to remember

They’ll glowingly describe your loyalty and commitment but have no idea what you do

Often when the next downsizing comes they’ll be wearing little flags on their lapels

They’ll appeal to all that’s good in you by reading a stirringly-scripted, 10 minute video

Reaping unreal bonuses and whopping stock options by trimming you from the bottom line

Clips of children and flowing music accompany poetic tributes to incalculable human resources

Meanwhile, proprietary spreadsheets show profits flowing from proposed employment cuts

Pricey consultants point the way to offshore sources who become more simply disposable numbers

Expensive lobbies trace the firm’s patriotic history, but its products are all stamped Made In China

They intone about each and every one of our personal contributions to the team

But then, regrettably, our positions have been eliminated and our services are no longer required

We stumble out with a tiny severance, old family pictures and coffee cups in boxes

Truth is, the future of our families really has no place whatsoever on their financial statements

Avuncular global oligarchies speak in pre-rehearsed and well-delivered messages

Mouthing how they treasure our contributions and factor our needs into all of their decisions

They peek down from their office suites toasting bonuses as we numbly drive away for good

Now the company is stronger going forward and the remainder of us must all pull together

Then come the remaining middle managers happy to still be mouthing the latest empty platitudes

Off to meetings to be spoon fed the newest pre-digested vision to be absorbed by all

Congenially, those remaining climb on board as good team players towards another golden era

And, for the record, those who have departed shall never be mentioned again

But finally comes the quarter when the cooked books just wont meet the numbers

Arriving on the heels of the last round of layoffs, there’s no more fat to trim

And no competitors remain with which to merge and attain greater strategic synergies

So, with great regret their vivid golden parachutes open up under dark clouds of criminal suspicion

Greedily Pimping The Holidays

Every year, stoking your guilt with their latest phony hot items and newest big sellers

Another month and, What do you know? Yet another Merchant’s Holiday has arrived

They’ve got jingles and decorations, gifts and zesty-sweet, factory-produced treats

For they must perpetually increase an artificial demand simply to stay in business

They have special offers, items on sale, deep discounts and great promotions

They try to pump you full of shame and guilt should you dare not to spend

You can still buy on credit - even if there is no income behind your card

Your very humanity can be defined by simply following their purchasing cycles

$XMAS, birthdays, anniversaries, valentine’s day and others which come and go

Beautiful people in expensive advertisements meant to part you from your cash

Since you love them, For the family, Just for her, Thinking of you – And buying too much

Assuaging your guilt, buying their love & pretending to maintain Traditional Family values®

Co-opting christianity, playing on emotions and performing a greedy mass hypnosis

It’s on sale, Don’t you love them, Time’s running out. Are you some cold, cheap loser?

Halloween, thanksgiving, easter and Mother’s Day all beckon with their own tailored ads

The advertising pimps purify and hyperbolize them and parade them in front of your noses

For mother, Don’t forget Dad!, Because they love you. Buy now or forget the Happily-Ever-After

Buy this to avoid some unspoken punishment of guilt and loss of humanity

We were late again with the rent since it was little Timmy’s birthday this month

The kids are dosed with our ads and screaming for it - Won’t you make them happy?

Show her that you still love her by taking on a few more years of easy, over-budget payments

You can feel good about your debt because you didn’t buy any of this for yourself

The Chinese slave factories are being geared up for the anticipated phony holiday demand

And after every holiday the garbage truck takes away unused things that you could not afford

Perversely enough, Buyer’s Satisfaction lasts something like maybe almost 10 minutes

And then that gnawing emptiness returns and you must quickly focus on something else

You know you don’t really need it and you can’t afford it, But It’s ‘Christmas’

You struggle with your current car payments as you salivate over their latest models

Their survival and your jobs are tightly bound to leveraged over-consumption

Desperately they flog you with their absurdly creative and expensive fantasies

Their stock prices and bonuses dependent on increases in year over year sales

Locked in a deadly embrace, we dance blindly together towards an unnecessary credit abyss

They’re pumping tired Christmas carols down your throat for 2 months every year

You must buy big for birthdays and anniversaries or you are forgoing human relationships

Get with the program or face the fact that you’re an inhuman scrooge heading to hell

And don’t you dare coldly dwell on the fact it’s all invented by marketeers for salesmen & CEOs

Our Doomed Corpro-Conservative Way Forward

Do not design new products or organize production, just send the half-baked specs overseas

Let laid off workers patiently await the good jobs you said their layoffs would help create

Walk away from your pension and benefit obligations to go build plants in southern china

Employ uprooted peasants for a dollar a day and trumpet this as the great New World Order

Give up the croplands to the stewardship of subsidized corporate conglomerates

Keep them working 14 hours a day to send a little money back to starving families

Close up those new Mexican maquiladoras because their wages are getting just too high

Call poverty the price of inexorable progress and preach solemnly of Personal Responsibility

Import autos and oil while clumsily trying to export an inequality-based evangelical democracy

Keep chanting the tired fairytale about free trade creating a better world for us all

Have neither business nor government pensions and no savings or jobs for those laid-off at 50

Ignore the collapsing house of credit cards that will eventually leave 99% in equal poverty

Trumpet our vaporous financial genius, infantile marketing wizardry and overpriced sales expertise

‘Invest’ trillions in deficits on defense against the phantasmal enemies who surround us

Profit on higher education by ensuring that it only comes with a heavy burden of debt

Send them back scrap metal and used paper in exchange for plasma TVs and game consoles

Place your implanted consumerist needs above the once-good earth that sustains them all

Pretend foreigners will rely on our overspending to sustain their loaning us even more, forever

Marvel at our consumer’s ingenuity in behaving as if their negative savings rates are sustaiable

Call for less government interference while lobbying for tax breaks, subsidies and tariffs

Pretend that multi-million dollar bonuses for cynical bankers and brokers are just and well-deserved

Dispose of workers at 50 but let them try to live til 80 without work, savings or healthcare

Give the Asian billions a little taste of the good life just as the natural resources run out

For god’s sake have them keep their children away from the poisoned rivers and acid lakes

Recite a scripted homily that decent health care is simply another profit-driven industry

Sneeringly, get governments out of the ‘business’ of species and habitat preservation

Pour billions into violently securing oil supplies and next to nothing on its replacement

Clone vast and toxic exurbs with economies based solely upon shopping and services

Cleverly design products which break just as their replacements are coming to market

Headquarter in Bermuda, produce in China, support in India but advertise as All-American

Create ads with soft music, omissions and misrepresentations spoken in soothing tones

Convince them that simply rewarding your blind greed will surely lead us all to a better tomorrow

Contract food ingredients from the lowest overseas bidder with no on-site oversight or inspections

Polish a reputation for iron control but, at your trial, claim you never knew of any crimes

Act eager to clear your name but let your greasy, expensive lawyer do all the talking

Scurry from the spotlight behind toadying spokesmen you deliberately keep in ignorance

Cynically foster a bitter political stalemate that lets your criminal neglect continue to run its course

Then duck into waiting limos without a comment, O ye brave knights of unbridled capitalism

Can’t Stop Our Ordained, Greed-based Progress

Keep on moving alongside of it, or get the hell out of our One True Way

These new asshole to elbow suburbs are merely blessed parts of God’s rich plan

Quit your misguided whining and chronic, spoiled, mealy-mouthed complaining

Outside developers quite naturally buy low, build cheap, sell out and move on

What could we really do differently anyway? Hey, these good people need those jobs!

Tinderbox strip malls are the climax stage in an ordained, faith-based ecological succession

How else are we going to provide for our ever-expanding human population?

The ready answer is really just about this simple – Ever bigger portions of more of the same

Just follow the money and you’ll find whose pocket putting people first always lands in

We’ve already defined the false choices so you cannot ever reframe the phony debate

You can’t stop the ordained progress upon which our vapid and consumptive lifestyle feeds

So either drive that excavator or get pushed off to the side with all the dead trees

We can’t control the future but we sure can can sniff out a quick profit in the here and now

Under Manifest Destiny we are honor bound to voraciously extract & consume, from coast to coast

Look at the good jobs we provide to the community - for up to several summers

Being constantly driven by insatiable greed merely expresses our consecrated pursuit of happiness

Listen, you can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs, right?

So, really, you can ignore shattering the ecosystem that sustains you - To make a quick buck

Simple-minded hyper-consumption is the genius that guides the blind hand of the free market

Planning and conservation is the province of that old, tired and failed socialist agenda

With money, law and tradition behind us, we bulldoze away any and all feeble arguments

We polish our moneymaking skills by doing just what we know best, over and over and over again

There’s no stopping progress, just ask those smog-purple mountains above the once-fertile plains

Just take some more of these pills and you’ll enjoy the bounty of our febrile exploitation

We’ve got laws and precedents going back to our revered colonist forefathers

They stopped slavery but we still do what we want to the land, once we get a loan

We must tame and control, kill or be killed, slash, burn and flatten to survive

It’s man against nature in a war of attrition and our cash flow shows us winning big

We’re building on a sacred heritage of free enterprise and entrepreneurial energy

We’re deconstructing our children’s future one shoddy eco-shattering development at a time

After all, since you can’t stop progress, what is it that you are really think you can do?

Look, this farmland could return more next year as identical housing units for harried commuters

Our progress is inevitable and a foregone conclusion, just like our uncontrolled population growth

So, even though our lakes and rivers are just filthy sewage drains, there are still clean ones up north

No human force can stop a progress that has monetary gain as its ultimate and only goal

God made it so and only spoiled, out-of-touch liberals raise some witless, namby-pamby concerns

We are tightly wrapped in patriotism, God, free enterprise and Traditional Family Values©

Faith in free markets guarantees that everyone’s selfish actions will blindly yield a better future

Look, you can’t stop progress, this is all part of His wondrous design for us, his Exceptionist tribe

We’ve framed the debate and marginalized you while hyping lies to the good people, our people

Our way forward is bold and unambiguous but you would paralyze us with all your baseless fears

Our greedy individual clutching moves us all inexorably forward towards the Happily-Ever-After

You can’t stop progress unless it will make us more money more quickly, and then that’s progress

It’s like asking us to recycle for free just because it makes you feel better

We don’t condone all of these environmental impact studies and over-regulation

We measure our progress in amounts of CO₂ emitted, wetlands drained and acres deforested

The history we never learned most certainly shows that ours is the only one true way

Let there be Chinese ‘God Bless America’ flag decals on the backs of all our bulldozers

Look, your burdensome over-regulation can only cost good people, our supporters, jobs and money

This government meddling is very much akin to the failed social programs of the past

We can’t predict the outcome of our actions so we say just roll the dice and we’ll see...

We’ll solve any real problems after forcing scientists to prove they really exist...in a political debate

After all, what studies show that so-called intact ecosystems really benefit any society?...

None, but...It is true that lust for gain has clearly driven the flowering of our blessed demockracy

God Granted Us Global Dimming

Global dimming is cooling our planet by more than a degree Celsius (1.8°F) and stokes fears that as we curb these types of air  pollution, 

global warming may escalate – npr.org

They’ve found that our filthy particulates help keep it from getting even a whole lot hotter

Our so-called pollution is actually providing us protection from that nasty sun

Now, just look at how foolish that expensive CO2 & pollution reduction might have been

Too bad the future is dimming as well, just as fast as our wasted past fades away

Looks like the kids are getting duller too, what with the carcinogens and our bad schools

Squishy expectations of sustainability have been tamped down quite a bit as well

Thank god for the sulfurous emissions that protect us from the rising CO2

Praise be to the Chinese for not building those expensive clean coal power plants

Our paranoid night lights reflect back off the vast protective smog clouds of our own making

We do our small parts by collecting bits of soot in our once pink and healthy lungs

God don’t let India stop producing the haze that shades the entire Indian Ocean

For we don’t want that frozen arctic methane to thaw, burping up to the surface

The conservatives were right, this pollution control would have been expensive and wasteful

Goddamn it’s patriotic to belch out the diesel smoke that helps to keep us nice and cool

Better not clean up the water cause when it’s clear it absorbs much more heat

We rest quietly beneath our own smoggy blanket reflecting back the sun’s hot rays

Good thing the sun looks dimmer thanks to all that arctic ice that’s melting

We better not clean up the air and make this warming a whole bunch worse

Everybody’s kids will just have to learn to do a little more with a whole lot less

Yup, this global dimming ain’t junk science like evolution or climate change

It sure goes to show you that the jury really was still out, just like on creationism

Intrusive & unnecessary expensive actions might have harmed our economy and cost us jobs

Now it’s all come clear that burning coal and oil actually helps to keep us cool

So this dark shadow that I have always feared is really just a protective dimming

If it’s darker it will be easier to ignore the poverty, filth, resource wars and plague

I begin to realize that I stumbled around because the light was just too bright

Probably we missed the real benefits from such as the ozone hole and DDT as well

Yup, this global dimming will also slow the threatening meltdown of the icecaps

Just shows that socialist knee-jerk reactionaries tried to lead us down false paths once again

We can tweak our cameras to remove the haze of smog that might taint our selfies

Those to come will find the dingy streets, dirty air and foul waters simply normal

And for us, the changes come on so slowly it’s like losing vision due to cataracts

So now we can justify muddling on some more while increasing our population

We can continue to worship greed and preach Social Darwinism in our mega churches

Let the marketplace blindly react to any problems that might unexpectedly arise

For global dimming has proven again the foolishness of liberal social planning