Tiny But Unlikely Rightwing Flip-Flops

Why, we’ve even talked of downsizing on out of our beloved giant McMansion

Working on a plan to reduce my negative savings rate sometime...over the long run

Don’t necessarily need corpro-restaurant food every third meal or so

May have to cut back on sucking up on lamely-scripted corporate happy visions

Might not even strongly support every single goddamn defense spending bill

Perhaps we might need to start thinking about possibly looking into that global warming

Taking up meditation 3 times a week as soon as the next class starts

Gonna get the kids organic white bread and low-salt, trans-fat-free chips

Turning the heat all the way on down to around 70, like next winter

Probably going to hold off on buying that other OHV for a while

Seeing my newest nine passenger vehicle in a slightly different light

Not nearly so sure about where our elected leaders are actually steering us

Thinking that maybe these multiple meds aren’t really supposed to make me better

After this next trip, we may not go out to Vegas again for a while

Might not take such an interest in the lives of them Hollywood couples anymore

At this time I’m also reviewing my oversize emotional investment in professional sports

It’s even possible I could revisit some of the minor decisions made with my personal savior

Pretty much ready to recycle as soon as the Left makes it worth my while

Cutting back a bit on the fertilizers, pesticides and water I endlessly apply to my beloved lawn

Gonna choke down some more of that leafy green rabbit food every once in a while, too

Got a for real fitness program in mind when I finally free up some time

Our stockholders may have expressed some interest beyond our results for the next quarter

Maybe I’ll ask the next candidates if they could write some of their own speeches

Seriously, this really will be the last time we vacation on borrowed equity from our home

I’m not putting another plastic yellow ribbon decal on my beautiful new pickup truck

Pretty close to cutting back to only 3 lattes per week

Got to thinkin’ maybe them Frenchies ain’t really so mixed up after all

I noticed we never watch hardly any of them 300 deluxe package channels

Probably not going to drive the ATV off of the established trails so much anymore

Maybe them polar bears going extinct will mean somethin to me, in the end

Possibly their petro-dollar pie chart does have a fat slice labeled Terrorist Subsidies

Next time I might just try to understand the list of 45 ingredients and calories on the label

I’m signing up on my 401K or whatever as soon as my credit cards are ever paid off

Everywhere we went on our last vacation I noticed the same identical shit built

Thinking about selling the Harley but it’s sat for so damn long it won’t start

Driving an obese pickup 70 miles a day to my stupid job is making less sense over time

I’m trying to do the math of being broke and laid off for good at 55 but living until 80

Finally noticed my kids might not quite be reaching up to their Exceptionist potentials

It seems a little hotter every year and the birds and plants are acting real funny

Maybe cleaning up the lake does make more sense than just putting up signs about the toxins

Perhaps tax and spend is more conservative than borrow and send overseas

Is killing evergreens and charging off artificial marketers guilt really a christian holiday?

Dang, them little hybrids are easier to load groceries into than this giant pickup

I begin to wonder where these leftover batteries, paints and pesticides all wind up

What if raising pigs and cows like they weren’t actually even alive really ain’t Jesus’ way?

Does it makes sense to spend all my money on incurable ailments just to die within a year?

If it’s all in god’s hands and by his will, why then, is greed so goddamn all-important?

You know, I got to thinking, with the AC on, idling in my SUV, it gets zero MPG but lots of CO₂

How is it that illegal workers go to jail but their bosses get to keep the higher profits?

Just where is the money behind this vast global warming hoax, anyway?

Now, where do the jobs and tourists go once the big trees are all cut and shipped overseas

The wife is going to cut back on her nails, hair and tanning stuff real soon

Are their multi-generational neglected children worse sins than the sex we denied them condoms for?

I might even stop driving 80-85 every time I think I can get away with it

Had a drive-by epiphany near the projects on the freeway, going to work, I think

Gonna go green or whatever, now that it’s a toney, temporary, liberal fashion trend

We booked our spiritual quest thru holy India tour on a safe Internet site

Making up for my life of mindless hyper-consumption with these funny light bulbs

Maybe we should have impeached him, just to show the rest of the world we still have some sense

With my windpower check-off, we are in the vanguard of CO2 reduction

Bet I will get my weight, sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure down again, someday

Cutting back on that trendy new seafood that’s replacing the last one they over-fished into oblivion

I’ll be leasing a 300hp, 0-60 in 5 seconds hybrid to reduce my eco-footprint going forward

Waiting for that new career they promised to create by outsourcing my job to foreign slaves

So is it that since God is love, we the faithful are driven to keep on so lovingly killing in His name?

Wow, maybe it should be land, labor, capital and sustainable entrepreneurship

Perhaps free markets doom elephants and tuna by paying ever more for those fewer that remain

Saw the corporate ads on ethanol and now I am climbing onboard with that, as well

Even if global warming is a hoax, I’m tired of my 8 ton SUV, anyway

I’ll be waiting in the drive-thru line in my electric car for no-fat, organic fries

I’m for logging jobs here at home but we demand that Brazil save their rain forest

What if most of our problems really did have something to do with our overpopulation?

Pulling back from this wildly pitching blur real soon now to begin contemplating the eternal void