Long-Term Free Market Environmental Solutions

Old growth forests wont be such a divisive issue after they’re all cut down and milled
Species preservation will be a lot cheaper once all those many useless ones finally go extinct

Numbnut loud pickups and noisy Harleys will go silent when there’s no more gas to waste

Government meddling is being eliminated thanks to Washington’s political paralysis

They’ll stop this poisonous salmon farming as soon as there’s no little fish left to feed them

The American prairie will come back when it becomes too hot and too dry for our crops

Clean energy wont be an issue once it’s either burn coal again or simply freeze to death

Email spam will disappear when the bastards cant afford to run their servers

We will reduce our population to sustainable levels via global wars and epidemics

Everybody can live a developed country lifestyle when only a billion or so of us remain

We’ll curb transportation greenhouse emissions completely by wasting all of our cheap oil

Our fanatical Islamist enemies will be weakened after they finish their internecine jihads

Once we’ve stripmined the seas, there’s no worry that the fish are too full of mercury to eat

Global income disparity will disappear when everybody makes 20 cents an hour

It’ll all be organic when petroleum-based pesticides and fertilizers are unavailable

Sound bites will be simpler to create once the vast majority of adults are illiterate

OHVs and snowmobiles won’t be issues if they cost too much to pull around for wreckreation

There’ll be no housing shortage when they turn foreclosed McMansions into refugee housing

Agribusiness won’t be able to waste fossil water when there’s no power for their pumps

Lean and healthy grass-fed beef will be the norm because people will again eat all the grain

Won’t have to regulate mileage or emissions when gas always costs at least $5 a gallon

Forget greedy developers when the forests are torched and the snow doesn’t fall

Once we’ve sucked the Middle East sands dry we can just ignore them once again

Our collapsing house of credit cards will halt the Chinese environmental disaster

The Russians, or probably Asian occupiers, will prosper when Siberia thaws out for development

Fertile virgin farmlands will open up in Canada once this warming really kicks in

Australia is set to prosper from unlimited solar potential as it dries out and heats up even more

The disruption of the monsoon will relieve the filthy overcrowding of Indian cities

As South Africa becomes a desert, its problem with malaria will be greatly reduced

Millions of fire-blackened acres will curb recreational pressure on our wildlands

The collapse of commercial fish stocks may allow the battered bycatch to recover

Government bankruptcy and a lack of military fuel will curb the world’s only superpower

Alienation and anomie will evaporate in the vastly simplified struggle for everyday survival

Multinational corporate collapse will put their faceless leaders where commoners can reach them

Obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure will disappear right along with cheap factory food

Blunt reality may finally force us to once again reinvent our tired and failed religions