I Was born with a hangover from the whiskey me mommie took for her
pain
I
was a little bit small since they both smoked but I smiled as I lay
there
She
had no milk for me and the formula played hell with my skin
Lay
gurgling in my crib as the diesel fumes wafted in over me like a
blanket
I
cried all the time with gas and a stomach ache that they could not
see
Her
new boyfriend shook me almost hard enough that everyone could notice
Took
in a lot of insecticides but still spent too much time playing with
roaches
Got
an untreated fever that brought pleasant visions and damage to my
brain
Mice
scampered over me sometimes after the big parties were over
Sat
in their hot car with the windows cracked. Almost in the shade, by
the tavern
Played
on the dirty floor while they mixed and cooked the smelly meth all
around me
Could
not see the squiggles in their little books so they marked me down as
slow
Loved
those bologna and cheese slices with yellow mustard on soft white
bread
Still
think of my childhood when that peculiar smell of a WalMart overcomes
me
Began
to love jesus and was gently but firmly abused by the pastor in
control
Appeared
slightly palsied from the mercury in the tuna salad sandwiches
Daddy
got out of jail when I was around 5 and he hugged me once and left
again
I
loved my mom despite her teeth falling out, the sores that never
healed and her stringy hair
One
time I asked her what dentists did on our way to the emergency room
I
got lots of caffeine and plenty of sugar beginning even before my
baby bottle
We
traded head lice, boils, ringworm, impetigo and pink eye about the
family
Santy
claus was good to us cause Mom & Dad always bought us
stuff instead of paying rent
We
always liked playing on the clean marble down at the child support
office
Sometimes
I would visit mama working over to the Conoco
I
often said I had finished my homework so I could go and play on the
GameBoy
She
had no pre-natal care and we did not get our vitamins and minerals
My
first time in prison was a real eye-opening and educational
experience
I
played among the crumbs, dirt and dust on many housing project floors
Potato
chips and sugar cookies kept me quiet and helped me get to be a big
boy
The
diabetes kicked in and took mother to the couch for good before she
was 35
I
dropped out of school, the army would not have me and I never learned
to work
I
could not feel the blows of others and goddamn how I loved to fight
I
felt nothing from the hurt look in their eyes as I walked away
My
teeth turned into rotten snags as my gums receded
I
had a pin put in my leg after they tried to run me over
I
got a cracked glass tattoo around the scar from a minor gunshot wound
Now,
anything I want, that I can get my hands on, I just grab - without
any of them regrets
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